you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
