She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
