Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
