You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
