im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
