im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
