i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
