I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
