she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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