"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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