I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
