Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
