I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
His nipple licking is glorious
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