is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
These tits shall not be calmed
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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