i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
