i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
