Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
