Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
