it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
