Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
