at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Are we still banned from the library?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
