so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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