worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
