I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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