So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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