He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
