I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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