oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
