Dual....:-)
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
