dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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