Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
