You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
