I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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