Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
