Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
