i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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