I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
