Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
