got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
