For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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