This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
