so explain again why im purple
no
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
