Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
