Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
