It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
