I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Soap is not a condiment
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
