We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
handjob tips. give me some.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
