There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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