what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
