Can Purell be used as lube?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
